Healing

How do you know you've healed?

You stop crying. Yep. There's one indicator.

You stop checking every possible source of communication to see if they have contacted you. Yep, that's another.

You throw away every photo of the two of you together with no regret of what, 'might have been.' That's a good one and really hard to do.

You see them in public and don't break down. You walk up and hug them, hold a good conversation that actually ends in laughter. At no point in this conversation do either of you insult the other in any way. You walk away feeling like you've just spoken to an old friend, not a mortal enemy.

That...is proof that you've healed.

The Tortoise and the Scorpion

Today on the way home from work, trying to clear my mind and remember all I may have forgotten for my trip to Buffalo, I was listening to This American Life. This episode was dedicated to the life of David Rakoff. I'd heard him many times on the broadcast and love his work. Today, I heard more than I bargained for. The piece ended with a rhyming couplet, story he wrote about giving a speech at a wedding. The main character, Nathan, gives this toast to the bride and groom...the bride was once his girlfriend and the groom, his best mate.

Through the story, Nathan tells the fable, "The Tortoise and the Scorpion." Read the transcript of the story here.

A quick summary of the fable: The Scorpion asks the Tortoise for a ride across the river. The Tortoise says no..."I know you, you'll sting me." The Scorpion pleads with the Tortoise, offering the argument, "If I sting you, we will both drown." Of course, the Tortoise agrees...only to be stung and killed by the Scorpion. The Scorpion only offers that it is in his nature to sting and dies as well.

I have to wonder...Am I the Scorpion? Am I meant to sting? Am I the Tortoise, that knowingly walks into danger, to help someone in need? Of course we all hope to be the Tortoise: He's open. He's trusting. He allows himself to be vulnerable. I feel like I am the Scorpion, most days. While not intending to sting, it is simply in my nature to sting before being stung. I live on the defense. The ending line of the story discusses the moral of the story...

Though it may spell destruction, we still ask for more,
since it beats staying dry, but so lonely on shore.
So we make ourselves open, while knowing full well
it's essentially saying, please, come pierce my shell.

Wow! Talk about hitting home. Meanwhile...I've been reading, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown. I just finished her book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. She just released this one and I had to read it.

I know that letting go of things, admitting my vulnerabilities and letting others take control is a personal struggle for me. As I'm rolling over the last read chapter in my brain, I hear this:

Though it may spell destruction, we still ask for more,
since it beats staying dry, but so lonely on shore.
So we make ourselves open, while knowing full well
it's essentially saying, please, come pierce my shell.

We make ourselves open. We allow others into our lives and, knowing full well they can pierce our shells, we have to open or remain alone on the shore. We need the constant connection of others. Failure is ok. Failure is a human experience. While failure may happen, we may hurt each other, we may get hurt: it beats staying dry, but so lonely on shore.

Day Five Video Blog

Day Four

Today was the last day of training, so for a treat, the class got to watch Big Bang Theory. Watching this, in India, was hilarious. Because my sleep schedule is so disrupted, I got ill after lunch. It wasn't bad, just nauseated due to lack of sleep. I pushed through and made it.

Akshardham (from their website)

After work, Rohit, Michael, Harry, Josh and I got to view Akshardham. It is famous temple in Ghandinagar. Sadly, we couldn't take photos of this beautiful place. We walked through the temple barefoot and viewed the museum. As someone who grew up in a museum (Discovery Place for 8 years) I'm a sucker for dioramas and preserved clothing. Granted, we were indoors, with no AC but I just studied everything. Here is the site, their photos are better than I could've done anyway.
Akshardham Temple

The Laser Show all projected onto a water curtain. (from their website)

The viewing of the temple was followed by a laser show projected on a water curtain. It was so cool, but in Hindi, so Rohit had to retell the story to us after the show. We were all a bit lost. Again, no pictures, but there is a website.
Laser Show

Again, I can't express how much I love this country. It was on my bucket list visit and I'm so fortunate to have achieved it. I can't wait to travel more. Also, I can't wait to come back to India.

We are so very blessed

The Center

Good morning from India.


Yesterday was full. I arrived at the center at 9:30am for training to begin. This group of people are amazing. They have shown me so much love and kindness. I am loving every minute of my adventure here. We went for lunch and ate amazing food. I've only seen the hotel and the center since I arrived so forgive the numerous pictures of food, but honestly it is all I've seen so far.

Food Court at Infocity

This is where we ate lunch, it was quick drive from the center and Dilipbhai took us. The food was awesome, of course, but it was even better seeing something outside of the center. Thankfully, Michael and I had Rohit to order for us. I just sit quietly while he does all the talking.

Paneer Tikka

I'm trying my best to learn all the words for food so maybe one day I can order for myself. Tikka is something that is on a skewer and Paneer is cottage cheese.

We ate until we could barely move and still couldn't finish...the best part for three of us, it was about $10. Wow.

The Beast

We came back to the office where the agents are continuing training. They are all such wonderful people and so very kind. The best part of their day, was my scariest moment. I was trying to go back to my cabin (office) and was thwarted by a lizard in my path. I was terrified. I made Rohit take this picture. One of the agents assured me, "he is an Indian lizard, he will not harm you." Still, it is a lizard, in my path...I was escorted past the beast by Dhaval. Dear, brave, Dhaval. Here's a pic of the beast.

Ganesha

Also, I have a wonderful friend attached to my Cabin wall. This is one of many Hindu Gods, Ganesha.

I need all the help I can get. I'll take it.


After work, Dilipbhai took Rohit, Michael, Harry and myself to dinner in Ahmadabad. Again, Rohit ordered and I continued learning more Hindi words. The food was so amazing and plentiful, I'm still full from it.

Cheese Naan

Chicken Saag, Lamb Masala

Cheese naan is probably the most amazing thing I've ever tasted in my whole life. It is covered in garlic and stuffed with the best cheese I've ever tasted. Incredible.

As I haven't seen much apart from my ride to and from the center, here is a video of my commute this morning. Notice how many possible collisions occur, yet everyone is ok. Everyone honks, the backs of trucks say, "Honk OK Please." It is terrifying. 

Namaste - Day Two



I crashed hard last night. I went to bed at 7pm, my body was exhausted. This morning offers a new day of excitement and adventure.



My Greeting



I was greeted at the office yesterday with these beautiful flowers. The people here at Etech are incredible and so kind.



My Cabin



The monkey family



Then, I was shown my office, which is called a cabin...much nicer name than a cube! I will now have a cabin at TWC instead of a cube.





                                                                     The office is actually in the jungle...not the 'Jungle Book,' type of jungle, but the actual jungle...with Monkeys!

There was a whole family of them and my driver, stopped to let me take photos. Dilipbhai is my driver, I will get a photo. He is so kind and makes the adventure of coming to work a pleasure.

He says Sunday I will get to ride an elephant and a camel!!! How exciting! 



My room. I love pictures of hotel rooms from my past trips. They are all so very different. I'm staying at the Marriott. Thus, the Book of Mormon is in my bedside table...but notice the shower in the back ground. I had to take a close up then a wide shot of the room. It is all open. 





The Book of Mormon



Wide Shot...yep my bathroom next to the bed.

Namaste, India

The Flight Path from NJ to Mumbai 14 hours appr.

I arrived yesterday evening to my hotel around 10:45 after over 24 hours of travel. In a word, I am exhausted, but so excited for this opportunity. I've met the Etech team and all the leaders. The first wave seems conifdent and ready to take on the Launch. For this I'm grateful. Everyone in India has been so kind. I am enjoying myself, I think...the sleep deprivation is getting to me. I was able to have a wonderful meal, thanks to DC and see, at a distance...Police prevented us from going further, the Arabian Sea.



Breakfast - Papaya, Pineapple, Kiwi - Sausage, Eggs, and Onion Chutney



I had a flight this morning at 5:30 that proved the scariest part of the adventure, thus far. I was taken to the wrong airport, but in the end all was well. I had a delicious breakfast on the plane and was met at the airport by Michael and Dilip.



My ride to the hotel in Mumbai.

A Camel...in traffic.

The ride to the center was incredible. I generally fear for my life while in a vehicle but moreso for the lives of pedistrians. Last night we grazed a guy and kept going. The cars driving on the left hand side takes some getting used to as well. The most exciting part, however was seeing the Camel!! I know this is such and American thing to say, but for real!! a camel in traffic. I also saw a monkey but didn't get a pic.

Stay tuned.