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Oh, Weddings....This Time, It Is Mine!

So a little less than a year ago I was planning and preparing for my bff's upcoming nuptials, I was planning to take my new boyfriend, Jason with me to not be the, 'single girl.'

Selfie from Anna's wedding.

Anna and I on her wedding day.

Who knew that the following April, I would be in her shoes...For the nitty, gritty, details of the whole thing, we made a wedding website.

The place it all started, Jack Beagles.

Now it is all about engagement photos, welcome bags, bridesmaids gifts....the list goes on and on.We met at work, we even told our story for AOL about how our romance blossomed at the workplace but managed to keep it (mostly) hidden from our bosses until he proposed in St. John, while on vacation. After that, there was no hiding this thing!

The Bling

Work took it well and the friends jumped in to help plan the wedding of the year. Whew...I had no clue a 'simple, easy wedding' could be so much work. I know it will be worth it, when it is all said and done but as for right now, I'm thinking we should have done Vegas. (I think I'll change my mind when I pick up my dress, Friday.)

Vlad is over the wedding, too.

Jason and I are just easy. I of course have nervous jitters about the concept of calling him, "my husband." I am not worried about how we'll make it. It is like we've both spent our whole lives to be prepared to be married to each other. He is my other half. Even the dog is annoyed with our love story.

My sister and are perfecting our crafting skills. Pinterest is my new best friend. We spent a few hours this week (mostly going back to Michael's for more supplies) making the decorations for the church pews.

Our pew decorations.

Seriously, in addition to Pinterest, Etsy is the other greatest invention on the interwebs. I've used them for the majority of my gifts for the parents and wedding party. Find it on Pinterest, buy it on Etsy. Unless, you have an amazing sister that can help you do it yourselves.

This weekend, we are making the wedding signs. Wish us luck. 

Oh Weddings

So my BFF is getting married next weekend. I'm thrilled for her. I'm at that point of my 30's where basically all my friends are married, getting married or have been married for a while. 

I am not married.

I've been engaged 3 times.

My grandmother is convinced that I'm never getting married. 

I'm totally happy. Actually, I can't pinpoint a point in my adult life that I was ever happier or more content than I am at this moment. I love who I am. I'm happy with the person I've become. My friends are incredible. I never feel alone. 

Do I want to be married?   Yes. I think so. 

Will the world crash and end if I never do? Nope.

Do I want children? Yes. I am sure of this.

Do I need to be married for this to happen? Nope. 

While I am certain I would have fit in perfectly in another time period, the 50's for sock hops or the 20's for the style...I'm certain that I'm happy that in 2013 I do not have to be married to live my dreams. 

Healing

How do you know you've healed?

You stop crying. Yep. There's one indicator.

You stop checking every possible source of communication to see if they have contacted you. Yep, that's another.

You throw away every photo of the two of you together with no regret of what, 'might have been.' That's a good one and really hard to do.

You see them in public and don't break down. You walk up and hug them, hold a good conversation that actually ends in laughter. At no point in this conversation do either of you insult the other in any way. You walk away feeling like you've just spoken to an old friend, not a mortal enemy.

That...is proof that you've healed.

The Tortoise and the Scorpion

Today on the way home from work, trying to clear my mind and remember all I may have forgotten for my trip to Buffalo, I was listening to This American Life. This episode was dedicated to the life of David Rakoff. I'd heard him many times on the broadcast and love his work. Today, I heard more than I bargained for. The piece ended with a rhyming couplet, story he wrote about giving a speech at a wedding. The main character, Nathan, gives this toast to the bride and groom...the bride was once his girlfriend and the groom, his best mate.

Through the story, Nathan tells the fable, "The Tortoise and the Scorpion." Read the transcript of the story here.

A quick summary of the fable: The Scorpion asks the Tortoise for a ride across the river. The Tortoise says no..."I know you, you'll sting me." The Scorpion pleads with the Tortoise, offering the argument, "If I sting you, we will both drown." Of course, the Tortoise agrees...only to be stung and killed by the Scorpion. The Scorpion only offers that it is in his nature to sting and dies as well.

I have to wonder...Am I the Scorpion? Am I meant to sting? Am I the Tortoise, that knowingly walks into danger, to help someone in need? Of course we all hope to be the Tortoise: He's open. He's trusting. He allows himself to be vulnerable. I feel like I am the Scorpion, most days. While not intending to sting, it is simply in my nature to sting before being stung. I live on the defense. The ending line of the story discusses the moral of the story...

Though it may spell destruction, we still ask for more,
since it beats staying dry, but so lonely on shore.
So we make ourselves open, while knowing full well
it's essentially saying, please, come pierce my shell.

Wow! Talk about hitting home. Meanwhile...I've been reading, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown. I just finished her book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. She just released this one and I had to read it.

I know that letting go of things, admitting my vulnerabilities and letting others take control is a personal struggle for me. As I'm rolling over the last read chapter in my brain, I hear this:

Though it may spell destruction, we still ask for more,
since it beats staying dry, but so lonely on shore.
So we make ourselves open, while knowing full well
it's essentially saying, please, come pierce my shell.

We make ourselves open. We allow others into our lives and, knowing full well they can pierce our shells, we have to open or remain alone on the shore. We need the constant connection of others. Failure is ok. Failure is a human experience. While failure may happen, we may hurt each other, we may get hurt: it beats staying dry, but so lonely on shore.

Day Five Video Blog

Day Four

Today was the last day of training, so for a treat, the class got to watch Big Bang Theory. Watching this, in India, was hilarious. Because my sleep schedule is so disrupted, I got ill after lunch. It wasn't bad, just nauseated due to lack of sleep. I pushed through and made it.

Akshardham (from their website)

After work, Rohit, Michael, Harry, Josh and I got to view Akshardham. It is famous temple in Ghandinagar. Sadly, we couldn't take photos of this beautiful place. We walked through the temple barefoot and viewed the museum. As someone who grew up in a museum (Discovery Place for 8 years) I'm a sucker for dioramas and preserved clothing. Granted, we were indoors, with no AC but I just studied everything. Here is the site, their photos are better than I could've done anyway.
Akshardham Temple

The Laser Show all projected onto a water curtain. (from their website)

The viewing of the temple was followed by a laser show projected on a water curtain. It was so cool, but in Hindi, so Rohit had to retell the story to us after the show. We were all a bit lost. Again, no pictures, but there is a website.
Laser Show

Again, I can't express how much I love this country. It was on my bucket list visit and I'm so fortunate to have achieved it. I can't wait to travel more. Also, I can't wait to come back to India.

We are so very blessed

The Center

Good morning from India.


Yesterday was full. I arrived at the center at 9:30am for training to begin. This group of people are amazing. They have shown me so much love and kindness. I am loving every minute of my adventure here. We went for lunch and ate amazing food. I've only seen the hotel and the center since I arrived so forgive the numerous pictures of food, but honestly it is all I've seen so far.

Food Court at Infocity

This is where we ate lunch, it was quick drive from the center and Dilipbhai took us. The food was awesome, of course, but it was even better seeing something outside of the center. Thankfully, Michael and I had Rohit to order for us. I just sit quietly while he does all the talking.

Paneer Tikka

I'm trying my best to learn all the words for food so maybe one day I can order for myself. Tikka is something that is on a skewer and Paneer is cottage cheese.

We ate until we could barely move and still couldn't finish...the best part for three of us, it was about $10. Wow.

The Beast

We came back to the office where the agents are continuing training. They are all such wonderful people and so very kind. The best part of their day, was my scariest moment. I was trying to go back to my cabin (office) and was thwarted by a lizard in my path. I was terrified. I made Rohit take this picture. One of the agents assured me, "he is an Indian lizard, he will not harm you." Still, it is a lizard, in my path...I was escorted past the beast by Dhaval. Dear, brave, Dhaval. Here's a pic of the beast.

Ganesha

Also, I have a wonderful friend attached to my Cabin wall. This is one of many Hindu Gods, Ganesha.

I need all the help I can get. I'll take it.


After work, Dilipbhai took Rohit, Michael, Harry and myself to dinner in Ahmadabad. Again, Rohit ordered and I continued learning more Hindi words. The food was so amazing and plentiful, I'm still full from it.

Cheese Naan

Chicken Saag, Lamb Masala

Cheese naan is probably the most amazing thing I've ever tasted in my whole life. It is covered in garlic and stuffed with the best cheese I've ever tasted. Incredible.

As I haven't seen much apart from my ride to and from the center, here is a video of my commute this morning. Notice how many possible collisions occur, yet everyone is ok. Everyone honks, the backs of trucks say, "Honk OK Please." It is terrifying. 

Namaste - Day Two



I crashed hard last night. I went to bed at 7pm, my body was exhausted. This morning offers a new day of excitement and adventure.



My Greeting



I was greeted at the office yesterday with these beautiful flowers. The people here at Etech are incredible and so kind.



My Cabin



The monkey family



Then, I was shown my office, which is called a cabin...much nicer name than a cube! I will now have a cabin at TWC instead of a cube.





                                                                     The office is actually in the jungle...not the 'Jungle Book,' type of jungle, but the actual jungle...with Monkeys!

There was a whole family of them and my driver, stopped to let me take photos. Dilipbhai is my driver, I will get a photo. He is so kind and makes the adventure of coming to work a pleasure.

He says Sunday I will get to ride an elephant and a camel!!! How exciting! 



My room. I love pictures of hotel rooms from my past trips. They are all so very different. I'm staying at the Marriott. Thus, the Book of Mormon is in my bedside table...but notice the shower in the back ground. I had to take a close up then a wide shot of the room. It is all open. 





The Book of Mormon



Wide Shot...yep my bathroom next to the bed.

Namaste, India

The Flight Path from NJ to Mumbai 14 hours appr.

I arrived yesterday evening to my hotel around 10:45 after over 24 hours of travel. In a word, I am exhausted, but so excited for this opportunity. I've met the Etech team and all the leaders. The first wave seems conifdent and ready to take on the Launch. For this I'm grateful. Everyone in India has been so kind. I am enjoying myself, I think...the sleep deprivation is getting to me. I was able to have a wonderful meal, thanks to DC and see, at a distance...Police prevented us from going further, the Arabian Sea.



Breakfast - Papaya, Pineapple, Kiwi - Sausage, Eggs, and Onion Chutney



I had a flight this morning at 5:30 that proved the scariest part of the adventure, thus far. I was taken to the wrong airport, but in the end all was well. I had a delicious breakfast on the plane and was met at the airport by Michael and Dilip.



My ride to the hotel in Mumbai.

A Camel...in traffic.

The ride to the center was incredible. I generally fear for my life while in a vehicle but moreso for the lives of pedistrians. Last night we grazed a guy and kept going. The cars driving on the left hand side takes some getting used to as well. The most exciting part, however was seeing the Camel!! I know this is such and American thing to say, but for real!! a camel in traffic. I also saw a monkey but didn't get a pic.

Stay tuned.

Buffalo, NY

I made it to Buffalo, NY. This my first time in the state and the office overlooks Lake Erie. Another first, I've never seen a Great Lake. It is beautiful.

I'm loving the new job and the people I work with. Buffalo is a lot closer to the MLEA vibe. I'm only here for a day and next week I'll be presenting at ISPI 2012 in Toronto!

I am pumped! Last year was so much fun. The people are so full of knowledge and it is truly a booster shot of energy to get back to the grind. Sometimes we need a reminder of why we decided to do this in the first place. ISPI is an excellent example of that. I'm honored to serve on the Charlotte Chapter board...well I will be again, soon. I'm also thrilled to lead the Emerging Professionals Committee.

Not really a thrilling life, but I'm loving EVERY minute. I couldn't be happier to be where I am. I've worked so hard for this. I deserve it.

Thankful

I'm so blessed in so many ways. I knew when I started Grad school it was the beginning of something wonderful. I knew it would change my life. I didn't know how much.

The last year has been one of constant change. I've moved, I've grown, I've loved. What more could you ask for?

I'm so happy and content with my life. Blessings abound. My life is so much different than I ever imagined it would be. It is exactly where I need to be. It took every step to get here. I'm loved so much more than I could have ever dreamed.

I am blessed.

It is Easter. A time symbolic of growth and rebirth. What an appropriate time to shed the hurt of the past and start anew.

Happy Easter

Interesting article

Tonight while hanging out with some friends, we began discussing what constitutes a pathological liar.

I googled it:

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_can_you_tell_if_someone_is_a_pathological_liar

That article led me to a few on narcissistic personality disorder. This seems to be the underlying cause of Pathological Lying.

The things you learn at trivia.

Good reading for sure. Enjoy.

Sometimes, you can go home again...

Only a few more days until I'm back home living in Charlotte.

I've left this town so many times, yet somehow I always end up back there. I'm a little nostalgic about the move. I do not; however feel that I have failed in any way. This is so much different than Korea. I came home from Korea, defeated. I was scared and I left.

This time, I had no intentions of coming home. I missed Charlotte, but I was determined to make this work. I LOVED my job here in Charleston. I love living so close to the ocean.

I am so fortunate for the opportunity to work with my new company. I will be surrounded by professionals in my field.

I am fortunate that my family and friends do not buy into the belief that, "You can't go home again."

I am fortunate for the overwhelming love and support I've received from these same people while I've been down here.

I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

Thank you all for your support and love in this little twist and turn in my life. I love you, too.

Moving and Grooving

So, here's the run down. I moved to Charleston, SC to work for the Coast Guard. I loved it. The military life suits me as a civilian.

Last week I received an offer to move back to Charlotte, NC. I took it.

Was it because I don't like Charleston?
No.

Was it because I'm homesick?
No.

Was it because I moved here to further my career and was offered another opportunity to do just that?
Yes.

Plain and simple. I actually was just starting to make some friends and wasn't going home as much. But, I'm moving on up in the world and I have to go.

So long Charleston, I'll see you later.

Six Whole Weeks!

I am as shocked as everyone else. Six weeks ago, I moved here...six. Sure, maybe for you, six weeks isn't a big deal, but for me, I've moved a mountain. I'm growing to love my home. I'm slowly venturing out of my comfort zone and exploring this new town. I'm still not totally sold on being here forever, but I'm really liking it right now.

Yep, pink is my signature color.

First off, I really miss my sister. She's my best friend. I miss sitting up way too late chatting with her about everything under the sun. Yes, we have Skype and phones, but still.
Secondly, I miss inviting a group of people over for dinner and company. I know these days will return as I make new friends down here. I'm working on that.

Today's target.

I have started going to a gun range to conquer my unknown fear of handguns. I had no idea when I went to ladies night last week that holding a gun in my hand would make me shake. I screamed the first time I fired it and it took 50 rounds to feel better.

I did it. I went alone, I met people, I fired a gun. Today, I went back. I thought I could handle a larger weapon and I was defeated. I went back to the .22 and felt much better. I'll have to work my way up to the 9mm.

I was so freaked out by this 9mm that I didn't stop shaking for 3 hours after the session. I guess that's why I never hit that stupid x. Oh well...maybe later.

Happy New Year - Week Four

I can't believe it is 2012. I rang in the New Year with an amazing kiss from the sweetest boy ever. (Mushy-yes. Do I care - No.) Last year was one of extreme transition. I moved, twice, finished grad school, changed jobs, turned 30...sheesh! It was a big year.

Sarah and I

I am happy for a bit more stability this year. I'm looking forward to solidifying my career, home life, and general well being. I feel like an adult these days. I have a one bedroom apartment and I'm living all alone. This is different for me. I've had Sarah by my side for so long, I feel like I've lost a limb.

Fun times on the pier with Harper, Sarah, and Alan

Thankfully, this weekend, Sarah and Alan came down with Bentley to visit and see the beach. It was so great to laugh with my sister again. Friday afternoon, Harper came down and we walked on the beach and the pier then ended the evening eating oysters with Sarah and Alan.

Saturday, Harper and I drove down to Edisto to meet his friends for a New Year's Eve party. It is always amazing to me that I lived above Angie for a year and ended up meeting Harper through her because of a Tweet-Up. (Long story for a later blog.) His friends welcomed me and we all had an amazing time ringing in 2012! Time has certainly flown by. I can honestly say, this was the best NYE of them yet!

Harper and I

Sunday morning, we drove back to Charleston and walked through the markets for a few hours. It was so wonderful to learn so many new things about a person. This is what I love about us; there is so much to learn about each other. There are so many stories to tell and hear. This is what makes the beginning a relationship so exciting. On top of all of that, I get an awesome group of new friends to learn about as well. I'm certainly the outsider, but I'm grateful for their kindness and welcoming attitudes.

Week Five - Time is flying

I'm starting to see that I'm becoming accustomed to this place. I'm starting to venture out alone, make some friends, and meet new people. I'm also not blogging as much. That's a good thing. In Charlotte, I rarely was ever home. I worked from 8am to 6pm left work to meet friends, got home late and got up to do it all over again. Here the schedule is a bit different.

Folly Beach

5am - Wake up
6am - Leave for work
6:30 - Start work
3pm - Leave work
3:30 - Get home from work
4pm - Nap
6pm - Dinner
8pm - Bed with tv

Thank God for my BFF Jen, she's been down a lot to keep me from going too crazy. I go home quite a bit too. This weekend, I got to go to the mountains with Harper. We had a wonderful doing absolutely nothing. I left work early Friday (I LOVE flex time) and got to his place about 5. We headed straight out and he won major brownie points for having a Cheerwine and Almond Joy waiting for me in the car. He's wonderful. We lounged around all day Saturday and did absolutely nothing besides play cards and watch football. It was a great trip.

Monday I headed home - I actually am starting to refer to Charleston as home. I've caught myself saying it more than once. My tiny little apartment is beginning to become mine. One day I might even unpack the rest of the boxes...

Week Three

Week two of the job was exciting and helped me understand why I packed up my life to move to Charleston, SC. I can honestly say I do love what I do. I do love this new position. I did make the right choice by moving here.

These things all kept me awake at night for weeks trying to decide if moving here was a good idea. I extracted every bit of advice from every person I knew.

Is this a good move for my career?
Is this a good move for myself?
Will I fail miserably like I did in Korea?

All these were answered by my friends and colleagues. Yes, this is an excellent career move. Yes, this is a good thing for you to do at 30. As I am single, with no children, now is the time to make this move. This isn't the type of risk you can take with a husband and children to uproot as well.

Will I fail like I did in Korea..... This was far and above all other questions I was asking myself. For those who know me and those who don't, I consider - although I shouldn't - my Korea experience a total life failure. I'm constantly reminding myself, without Korea:
I would still be working at Children's Theatre (aka - broke)
I would not have my Master's
I would not have the depth of friendships I have developed
I would most likely still be in an abusive relationship, thinking it was, "ok," or, "not that bad"

Korea wasn't a failure. It was a short chapter in my life that propelled me into new lands. It helped me find a career. It was a small stepping stone that led me here.

As I begin Week three on the job, I am encouraged by the wealth of knowledge that surrounds me in this new path. I still have so much to learn, but I'm excited that the leaders in this division are open to new ideas and I feel I have a voice here. I feel I have a lot to learn and a lot to offer.

Charleston, Week Two - Graduation and a New Job

So, I've officially made it longer than I did in Korea. I have the place set up...mostly, still a few miscellaneous boxes to unpack, but over all it is great.

Jen and I at The Brick House Kitchen

Jen came down last Friday to spend some wonderful girl time together, we went to what is now my favorite bar, The Brick House Kitchen They are so great, I'm starting to feel like a local when I walk in, because people there know my name. $12 buckets of steamed-in-front-of-you oysters, amazing local beer by Holy City Brewery It reminds me so much of my beloved bar in Charlotte, The P-Stone. It is my home town bar these days.

I started work on Monday...to say the least it was overwhelming! Not having the military background and not really having a full understanding of my job title left a lot to be desired. I came home from Day One feeling like I'd made an awful mistake, I was really scared. Day Two proved to be much more positive! It was so much better. I was able to get a great understanding of my actual job and I'm happy to report that my team, job, and employer are all amazing. I still have so much to absorb, but they are all patient and kind. I was invited and attended the USCG Christmas party and had a wonderful time getting to know my co-workers. They truly are a great group of people to learn from and work with.

On my daily walk to watch the sunset

As for my week, I get off work at 3pm so I make it a point to do my 'gym' routine on the sand, by the surf. Hey, I do live 3 miles from Folly Beach, so when in Rome....

The ocean is so calming to the soul. It really puts into perspective how minimal your problems are when you look at the vastness of the ocean. You really are a tiny part of this world. That is so comforting to me. I feel that I need to buy a drum and really bond with the guys in the drum circle down there.


After work Friday, I drove home to Charlotte to see some of my peeps and catch up on the missed events of the last few weeks. I've never claimed to be psychic, but I had this feeling in my gut all day that something would happen on that drive. I'm sad to report that I was correct. Because of this gut feeling, I was driving much more cautiously, I had angels watching out for me. About 30 minutes from Jason's my tire air pressure light came on. This has never happened, so I got in the right lane and planned to check it at the next exit. This caused my car to swerve irratically and I finally was forced to pull off to the shoulder. I had my back tire blow out. I was panic stricken and really shaken up. I do know how to change a tire, however I can't do it in the dark, alone, with trucks and cars screaming by going 80 mph. (Note: I need a flashlight in the car.)

The damage

Yes, I have not one but two roadside assistance plans. One through Hyundai --- worst story EVER and another through Geico. I've used the one through Geico before and it took forever, so I made the mistake of calling Hyundai. Long story short, he called after an hour to tell me he wasn't coming. I called the Highway Patrol to come sit with me until he arrived. This is an important thing for all women to know. The HP will not only sit with you until help arrives but are equipped to assist you if you want them to. Thanks to my Pap-Paw's good planning, I know how to change a tire. After a freak out -- crying hysterically to the HP and the boyfriend, who, by the way drove 100 miles round trip just to help me -- the HP arrived. My luck was that he had a bum knee and could only hold a flashlight for me while I changed the tire on my SUV, but I did it. I put the spare on, all by myself. I did it moments before the boyfriend showed up. I didn't know he was coming, but I guess my freak out sounded way worse over the phone. Either way, I have to say I am the luckiest woman on the planet!

In line to walk into the ceremony

Saturday I walked for my Grad School commencement. It was so incredible to have my Grandmother, Sister, and significant others there to cheer from the bleachers. I can't believe that it is over. I worked so hard for what seemed like forever and now it seems like I just started. Life really does speed up when you get older. My life is light years away from where it was when I began this journey. Who'd have thought that the failed attempt at living in Korea would have led to all of this? I couldn't have predicted it. I would've never believed even last year at this time that I would be living in Charleston, SC, working for the Coast Guard with the most awesome life I could have ever imagined.