Week Three

Week two of the job was exciting and helped me understand why I packed up my life to move to Charleston, SC. I can honestly say I do love what I do. I do love this new position. I did make the right choice by moving here.

These things all kept me awake at night for weeks trying to decide if moving here was a good idea. I extracted every bit of advice from every person I knew.

Is this a good move for my career?
Is this a good move for myself?
Will I fail miserably like I did in Korea?

All these were answered by my friends and colleagues. Yes, this is an excellent career move. Yes, this is a good thing for you to do at 30. As I am single, with no children, now is the time to make this move. This isn't the type of risk you can take with a husband and children to uproot as well.

Will I fail like I did in Korea..... This was far and above all other questions I was asking myself. For those who know me and those who don't, I consider - although I shouldn't - my Korea experience a total life failure. I'm constantly reminding myself, without Korea:
I would still be working at Children's Theatre (aka - broke)
I would not have my Master's
I would not have the depth of friendships I have developed
I would most likely still be in an abusive relationship, thinking it was, "ok," or, "not that bad"

Korea wasn't a failure. It was a short chapter in my life that propelled me into new lands. It helped me find a career. It was a small stepping stone that led me here.

As I begin Week three on the job, I am encouraged by the wealth of knowledge that surrounds me in this new path. I still have so much to learn, but I'm excited that the leaders in this division are open to new ideas and I feel I have a voice here. I feel I have a lot to learn and a lot to offer.

Charleston, Week Two - Graduation and a New Job

So, I've officially made it longer than I did in Korea. I have the place set up...mostly, still a few miscellaneous boxes to unpack, but over all it is great.

Jen and I at The Brick House Kitchen

Jen came down last Friday to spend some wonderful girl time together, we went to what is now my favorite bar, The Brick House Kitchen They are so great, I'm starting to feel like a local when I walk in, because people there know my name. $12 buckets of steamed-in-front-of-you oysters, amazing local beer by Holy City Brewery It reminds me so much of my beloved bar in Charlotte, The P-Stone. It is my home town bar these days.

I started work on Monday...to say the least it was overwhelming! Not having the military background and not really having a full understanding of my job title left a lot to be desired. I came home from Day One feeling like I'd made an awful mistake, I was really scared. Day Two proved to be much more positive! It was so much better. I was able to get a great understanding of my actual job and I'm happy to report that my team, job, and employer are all amazing. I still have so much to absorb, but they are all patient and kind. I was invited and attended the USCG Christmas party and had a wonderful time getting to know my co-workers. They truly are a great group of people to learn from and work with.

On my daily walk to watch the sunset

As for my week, I get off work at 3pm so I make it a point to do my 'gym' routine on the sand, by the surf. Hey, I do live 3 miles from Folly Beach, so when in Rome....

The ocean is so calming to the soul. It really puts into perspective how minimal your problems are when you look at the vastness of the ocean. You really are a tiny part of this world. That is so comforting to me. I feel that I need to buy a drum and really bond with the guys in the drum circle down there.


After work Friday, I drove home to Charlotte to see some of my peeps and catch up on the missed events of the last few weeks. I've never claimed to be psychic, but I had this feeling in my gut all day that something would happen on that drive. I'm sad to report that I was correct. Because of this gut feeling, I was driving much more cautiously, I had angels watching out for me. About 30 minutes from Jason's my tire air pressure light came on. This has never happened, so I got in the right lane and planned to check it at the next exit. This caused my car to swerve irratically and I finally was forced to pull off to the shoulder. I had my back tire blow out. I was panic stricken and really shaken up. I do know how to change a tire, however I can't do it in the dark, alone, with trucks and cars screaming by going 80 mph. (Note: I need a flashlight in the car.)

The damage

Yes, I have not one but two roadside assistance plans. One through Hyundai --- worst story EVER and another through Geico. I've used the one through Geico before and it took forever, so I made the mistake of calling Hyundai. Long story short, he called after an hour to tell me he wasn't coming. I called the Highway Patrol to come sit with me until he arrived. This is an important thing for all women to know. The HP will not only sit with you until help arrives but are equipped to assist you if you want them to. Thanks to my Pap-Paw's good planning, I know how to change a tire. After a freak out -- crying hysterically to the HP and the boyfriend, who, by the way drove 100 miles round trip just to help me -- the HP arrived. My luck was that he had a bum knee and could only hold a flashlight for me while I changed the tire on my SUV, but I did it. I put the spare on, all by myself. I did it moments before the boyfriend showed up. I didn't know he was coming, but I guess my freak out sounded way worse over the phone. Either way, I have to say I am the luckiest woman on the planet!

In line to walk into the ceremony

Saturday I walked for my Grad School commencement. It was so incredible to have my Grandmother, Sister, and significant others there to cheer from the bleachers. I can't believe that it is over. I worked so hard for what seemed like forever and now it seems like I just started. Life really does speed up when you get older. My life is light years away from where it was when I began this journey. Who'd have thought that the failed attempt at living in Korea would have led to all of this? I couldn't have predicted it. I would've never believed even last year at this time that I would be living in Charleston, SC, working for the Coast Guard with the most awesome life I could have ever imagined.

Charleston, Week One

The beautiful flowers from Jason.

So the move was awesome. I have the greatest people in my life ever!

1. Anna flew down to help. Super bestest friend ever! How did I get this lucky?
2. Joy drove down, just to help. My extended family cannot be beat.
3. Hiring movers...best idea ever!
4. A bouquet of flowers waiting outside my door when I arrived = best boyfriend on earth!
5. All the neighbors have come to my door to greet and welcome me. Everyone I've met has been so friendly. I'm spoiled.

Joy and I at my Going Away Party

I can't believe I live in another city. I tried this before, and it didn't work. For this reason, I signed an 8 month lease. I admit it. I'm scared. I'm alone here. I don't know anyone. I know I'm great at meeting people, I know I'm outgoing and friendly, and I know I'm going to be ok.

I am allowing myself to be ok with being scared.

I am allowing myself to miss Charlotte.

I am allowing myself to believe in the possibility that this could be permanent or temporary.

I am allowing myself to be open to possibility that this is a great idea!

I am allowing myself to do what I need to do to be ok. If this means, a few miles on the treadmill watching When Harry Met Sally or stopping at the Hot Doughnuts Now sign, so be it. It will all even out.

Anna Bobanna - BFF

I will be ok!

Everything I've wanted is within my reach. I've met the most amazing man ever, I have the job I've wanted since beginning Grad school. I live 3 miles from the beach.

My life is amazing and working out the way it should. I've moved past my past way of thinking - waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm expecting incredible things -- and those things are coming my way. I end this post with my favorite quote from Mr. Mark Twain:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Do not force, allow.

Quote of the day:

I said to my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.
-East Coker

Ponder this one, roll it around in your head, think on it. Down deep, it is brilliant. Nothing in life can be forced. Open yourself to receive greatness and greatness will come to you.
Expect the good to happen, and it will.

You're welcome.

-Sam

Last night, I was prompted in conversation to come up with a random fact about myself. After coming up short, I found an older post and updated it. Here are 25 random facts about myself. Enjoy.

1. I've always wanted to be an author more than anything else.
2. I am deathly afraid of butterflies. I'm serious! They have an erratic flight pattern. It freaks me out.
3. I've recently learned that I am a feminist and didn't know it. Seriously, research the actual definition, you probably are too.
4. I'm usually really good at anything I try.
5. I don't honestly know about my feelings concerning reincarnation. I do however have a very strong feeling that I was killed in a car accident in the 1950's.
6. I LOVE Teen Mom. I know it is awful. And, I love it anyway.
7. My father died of a heart attack at the age of 42, I'm concerned.
8. I dream in color, most nights, and generally remember my dreams.
9. I frequently dream of losing all of my teeth.
10. I adore cleaning a serger. If you've done it, you would understand.
11. I can put snaps on faster than most people I know.
12. I once had a poem published in the newspaper. I was 8.
13. I wanted my name to be Stephanie. I like Samantha now.
14. I have made out with Billy Currington. He's a country singer. Most haven't heard of him, but look him up, he's hot!
15. When I was 6, I wanted more than anything to marry Patrick Swayze. Until his death, I really felt this was possible.
16. I was the president of my Chess Club.
17. I was a Mathlete.
18. I hate time-travel themed movies and books. It confuses me and I don't like being confused.
19. I am 100% certain that kissing should be a daily requirement for healthy living. Now, I have to find someone with the same view to connect with.
20. If I get sick, I am serious about this, take me to House!!!
21. I cannot swim because I almost died in a pool as a child.
22. I went to one day of nursing school. I pass out at the sight of blood.
23. I've never been to jail, but I have puked on a police officer's shoes.
24. I have a deep belief in the afterlife and the ability of those who are gone to communicate with us who are still here. My grandfather "haunts" my home now. I've also been told a small native american lady follows me around and is my guide.
25. My great-great-great etc. grandmother was born on the trail of tears and was adopted by some white people who found her on their doorstep.

Fashionable Affair: Purrsuing Charlotte

Why re-write a well written account? Here's the story of our Panther's Purrsuit from Saturday.
Fashionable Affair: Purrsuing Charlotte: Saturday I participated in the Panther Purrsuit, a social media scavenger hunt that centers off of Twitter. I wasn't sure what to expect ...

Jennifer Welborn Writes: Skin

Jennifer Welborn Writes: Skin

New Mantras

I recently read this quote...

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughter is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing. Kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the
prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in
miracles.” - Audrey Hepburn

It really started me thinking. I've been on an interesting life journey since last November. I began to notice things in my life that just weren't fitting the bill in my opinion. I just wasn't fulfilled. I wasn't experiencing joy nearly enough. I had just turned 29, started my final year of Graduate school, and landed myself in the hospital.

I began noticing significant changes in my health all associated to stress. The stress was physical, emotional, mental. I was burned out, confused, frustrated, and above all tired. Now, ending up in the hospital isn't the way I wanted this to happen. I've always been a stress handling champion. I'm a list maker, mountain mover, and insomniac. I have plenty of time to do all the things I need to get done in a day. Well, no matter how good you think you are at it, your body knows what it needs. Mine needed sleep. It was going to get it one way or another. It did via a shot of heavy narcotics because of a muscle in my neck that wouldn't relax.

So, I went to the ER, my friend Scott came over to take care of my drug induced body. As I was drifting in and out of consciousness, I began to evaluate my current level of contentment.

Was I safe: Yes, well mostly
Did I have a roof over my head: Yes
Did I have food to eat: Yes
Was I as happy as I wanted to be: No

Now, I had nothing to complain about. I had a job, home, car, boyfriend, etc.... But at the end of the day, could I honestly say I was living life to the fullest? That was a no.

I was not loved. Not the fairy tale, mind-blowing love...just simple, I know you will be there if I need you, Love. I didn't have it. Here I was, 29 years old, with the world at her fingertips, and didn't have the one thing I desired the most. Love.

So, in the last year, a lot has changed. I left the abusive relationship, gained a dependent by way of my 19 year old sister, was hired full-time at an Instructional Design firm, turned 30, and finished my Master's.

I haven't found that simple love I was pining for in a partner yet, but I have found it everywhere else.

Inside of an abusive relationship, you feel disconnected. You are led to believe that NO one will believe you if you speak out. NO one will ever love you again, because you are damaged. Also, there is a false understanding of who your real friends are. I was told many times that if I left, I would be alone. I would be shunned by all our joint friends, and the friends I thought I had were just in my head. I was told, my 'friends' actually thought I was crazy and talked about me behind my back constantly.

Guess what? None of those things were true.

In this past year, I have found and experienced love like I've never seen before. It has come in all shapes and sizes. From places I didn't know existed. I've grown closer to my extended family. Through this expansion, I have had love poured over me from all sides. My friends, the ones I thought would desert me, have come through like champions! They've laughed with me, encouraged me, celebrated with me, and let me cry when I needed to. These friends are treasures. You know who you are...pat yourself on the back for me. Finally, I've developed an incredible bond with my sister. She's been my rock. She's seen me in my happiest times and my saddest of times.

I may not have found the love in a partner, yet...but when I do, I'll have a lot of extra love to give!

So, Ms. Hepburn, here's to you!

• I do believe in pink - all things pink




• I have burned a lot of calories this year through laughter




• I absolutely believe in kissing a lot - I am looking forward to doing a lot more of that in the coming year




• I believe I was strong when everything was going wrong




• I must be very pretty, because I am truly happy




• I've seen miracles with my own eyes




• Tomorrow is another day, but I'm going to live this one to its fullest

TEDxCharlotte

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of experiencing TEDxCharlotte. For more information or to enjoy the videos of yesterdays talks, go to http://www.tedxcharlotte.com/ . Everyone keeps asking me what a TED event is, this is straight from the website:

About TED
TED is a nonprofit organization devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. Started as a four-day conference in California 25 years ago, TED has grown to support those world-changing ideas with multiple initiatives. The annual TED Conference invites the world’s leading thinkers and doers to speak for 18 minutes. Their talks are then made available, free, at TED.com. TED speakers have included Bill Gates, Al Gore, Jane Goodall, Elizabeth Gilbert, Sir Richard Branson, Nandan Nilekani, Philippe Starck, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Isabel Allende and UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown. The annual TED Conference takes place in Long Beach, California. TED’s media initiatives include TED.com, where new TEDTalks are posted daily, and the Open Translation Project, which provides subtitles and interactive transcripts as well as the ability for any TEDTalk to be translated by volunteers worldwide. TED has established the annual TED Prize, where three exceptional individuals with a wish to change the world are given the opportunity to put their wishes into action; TEDx, which offers individuals or groups a way to host local, self-organized events around the world, and the TED Fellows program, helping world-changing innovators from around the globe to become part of the TED community and, with its help, amplify the impact of their remarkable projects and activities.
Follow TED on Twitter (twitter.com/TEDTalks), or on Facebook, (facebook.com/TED).

I was able to witness the transformative journeys people in Charlotte are taking to change their world and communities. Watching Molly Barker, founder of Girls on the Run, cheer when a fourth grader was freed from her 'cuppy bra,' the incredible experience and new passion in life for drumming for a cure, and the brilliance of Loan Tran and her motivation to the audience to not sit passively as a by-stander, but to get up and do something. All these speakers and there were so many more, had a common theme. That theme embraced the beauty of dreaming, but shoved us dreamers into action.

We all have the power to change the world. Maybe all in a different way, but all in all, change. Do something, fight about it, drum about it, travel and see how privileged our lives are. There was a moment, when I wanted to sell everything I owned and move to India and teach orphans. I still want to do that, but one step at a time. One action at a time. The day motivated me to move, to act, to care. That appears to me to have been a successful day.

Not to mention, I found a new love. Drumming. I was able to sit amongst strangers and beat on a drum. I have never done it before, but it brought out such strong connective emotions in me, I have to drum again. I simply have to. It was pure transcendence. I was able to fully connect with strangers without opening my mouth. I could feel the collective heartbeat rising and falling with emotion. It was beautiful.

Jennifer Welborn Writes: Running For A Cause

Jennifer Welborn Writes: Running For A Cause: As many of you know, I have struggled with a serious heart condition all of my life. I was a sickly child and by middle school I wasn't eve...

Hello blog world.

So, I've been meaning to start a blog for a while now.

Do I have interesting things to say? Sometimes.

Do I have a need for a creative outlet to share some stories? Yes.

Do I want people to look to me as a woman filled with wisdom beyond her years? Of course.

I love blogs. They are free, they are there when you need them, and they stay around forever. So, in 5 years, I can look back at this and remember where I was and follow the journey that led me to that place.

Isn't that why we are all here anyway? For the journey? While I am a sucker for a happy ending in a book or movie, I adore the twist and turns that leads the characters there. I love the characters, like Bridget Jones, who believes at the beginning that her world is honestly horrid. Only to follow her for a few years to watch her mistakes and downfalls that lead her straight to Mr. Darcy.

When I moved to Korea a few years ago, I began a blog to document that journey. I love looking back at that blog and remembering the place I was in. Frightened, alone, scared, and longing for something so much more than where I was. It turned out that Korea wasn't the answer, but it led me to apply to Graduate school, which led me to a wonderful job as an Instructional Designer. I would've never guessed, getting on that plane in 2008, that in 2011, I would be here. In a condo, single, working in an office with Nuclear Engineers.... I was in a relationship, I was miserable, I worked in a costume shop, I was broke and starving and stuck. The journey of the next 3 years gave me the strength I needed to leave an abusive relationship, live alone, finish my degree, and transform myself. I don't even recognize the girl in the photos from 3 years ago. She was so wounded and alone.

Now, I am powerful, successful, and I know my worth. I can only hope that the journey of the next 3 years will lead me to an even better Sam. A Sam with bigger dreams, larger ambitions, and even more belief in herself.

Enjoy the journey.